FLOWERING ✽ 28
down the dream
I write this to you later than I had set out to do, originally with the hopes for an equinox address, but alas, here we are in all our autumnal glory. Now is always the right time, I remind myself. There’s an idea in this that I want to expand on regarding timing and seasonal shifts. I think I get caught up in the hard and fast dates that we mark our calendars with. I feel some semblance of guilt if I’m not doing the most autumn coded things on equinox. If I’m not out making apple cider, harvesting hawthorn berries and having a fire who tf even am I, you know? It sounds ridiculous as I type that but that’s not far off from how I feel underneath it all during these holy days. But what even is time? Is it not more-so a feeling? Of course the seasons shift and there is a real, tangible energy that comes with a times such as equinoxes and solstices, but those shifts happen internally too. And if they don’t perfectly line up with each other, who cares! I guess all this is to say, be gentle. If your body, mind, and spirit haven’t swiftly transitioned from summer to fall, don’t sweat it. Focus on how you feel now, not how you should feel.
That being said, I’m excited for the seasonal shift (both externally and internally). The outward expansion of energy in yang times (ie summer) had me feeling a little lost, distracted, fragmented, and not focused on the bigger spiritual picture of this time here on earth. I have been caught up in doing and not being. Yin and winter (especially as a winter baby) provides me with a time to reset, reflect, and return. Plus, I love October and all of its spooky magic.
Alright, some quick housekeeping before we get too lost in an esoteric fever dream. I’ve decided to turn on the option for paid subscribers for anyone who feels called and abundant enough to support this publication. I figure why keep any doors closed for myself? It would be a dream to be able to support myself with my writing and this feels like the first step towards that. Deepest thanks to those who are already paid subscribers. You make the dream more of a reality and I love you! Don’t fret though, these letters will remain open to everyone for now, but I do have some fun ideas that I’m cooking up for paid subscribers in the future - stay tuned!
Living
I started September holed up at a very remote lodge on the central coast of BC. The opportunity to caretake this lodge for a couple of weeks in the off season sorta fell into our laps and felt completely aligned with where I want to be headed. P.S. on that note, I am available for any of your housesitting, lodge keeping, lighthouse living(?) needs worldwide, so please do keep me in mind! This lodge gig was hopefully the first of many. We were up near the Koeye river, a pristine and magical spot on Heiltsuk territory. During the summer months, Qqs Projects Society runs an incredible camp for Heiltsuk youth that dives deep into cultural practices, language learning, and being in relationship to the land. It was a real privilege to get to live and work up there, and to get inspired by the work that is being done by Qqs - like the gardening program they run and seed saving initiatives for their remote community. Definitely recommend checking them out to see what they’re doing and to support their work.
We went into the two week stint thinking that we would be completely alone for the whole time, which I was excited about until we became aware of the resident grizzly family that lived there with us. Then we felt a sense of relief when we were made aware of last minute plans for a huge imax film crew to show up to to do some filming of the river for the latter half of our stay. It was nice to have some company after a week of just us and the bears.
Being alone (well, aside from the mom and cubs) was insanely peaceful really. I look back now to recall what we did with our time. We would get up and immediately start a fire in our little cabin, look out the window to do a scan for the bears and to take in our ocean view. If the coast was clear, I’d go out and gather some chocolate mint that was growing everywhere for tea, and pick some huckleberries for a sweet treat. When we were feeling brave we’d walk down to the beach and jump in the ocean, grabbing bladderwrack from the shore and using it for a face mask, and occasionally hopping in the canoe for a paddle up the river. The sunsets, passing boats which we tracked on our phones, and most of all, the bears, were the climaxes of our days. And I loved that simplicity. Oh yeah, and we had to bring all of our food there with us for the two weeks and ended up eating ground beef and pasta every day haha.
Prior to this experience, I hadn’t had any close grizzly bear encounters. I feel so lucky to have been able to watch and observe them just a mere ten feet away through my living room window on a daily basis. They are so powerful but also calming in a strange way. They’re also such expert herbalists. It made me think more about bear medicine, and the plants that are associated with bears, like burdock. Its latin name, Arctium lappa, comes from the greek word for bear. Burdock is the perfect herb to carry with us as we transition into Autumn. It is grounding, sweet, cleansing but also gentle. It nourishes the yin in us. I love it brewed with some marshmallow root and ginger or cinnamon.
Making
Last year, while on an ancestral family trip through Austria, I was introduced to sturm, a super fresh, young wine that you can only find during this time of year, as it has to be consumed quickly due to the fermentation. It’s a spritzy, low alcohol drink that is a bit more sophisticated and fun than grape juice. My whole family was obsessed. So, this year at my parent’s place, we decided to take their tasty garden grapes and try our hand at making our very own sturm. We harvested the grapes, removed the stems, mashed and crushed them, and then fermented the juice for a couple of days with some added yeast. We ended up with around 10 litres, which is long gone, partially because it can’t be stored but mostly because it was so damn delicious.
Viewing
While up at the lodge, we consumed a lot of media. Podcasts, movies, TV, the whole gamut. We started crossing things off our criterion channel watch list, which always feels good. A standout for me? Hearts Of Darkness, the documentary about the making of Apocalypse Now. The first time I saw Apocalypse Now was probably about ten years ago. Long before my partner, Louis, and I were dating, he invited me and another friend over for a movie night. This was probably the first time hanging out together in a nonparty setting, and without asking us what we felt like doing, he proceeded to put on this insane Vietnam war movie that is like 3 hours long. I was shocked but also into it? Clearly I saw this as a green flag lol. Anyways, awesome movie, so it’s no surprise that a movie about the making of it is also awesome. I came away feeling inspired and ready to throw away any inclinations of a 9-5 job and a “normal” life. This, in my opinion, is the purpose of art.
Listening
It’s 2024 and I still burn a CD every single year for my mom for Christmas. These mix tapes have become a tradition, although it’s getting harder and harder to download music and burn CDs. We recently listened to an old one from a few years ago and I was reminded of this song by Maggie and Terre Roche that feels good to listen to in this season.
My friend, Bonny, shared this amazing NTS radio show recently and I listened to it on repeat for an entire day.
If you don’t already know the icon that is Jennifer Castle, you really should. She’s coming out with a new album soon which I am excitedly awaiting, but just released this song from it to tide us over. It was the most perfect rainy day when I first heard it last week.
kinda can’t get over these tomatoes!
Experimenting
Poll time! Would y’all be into having a fun little “ask a herbalist” feature on here? I’d probably open up some sort of anonymous question drop on my instagram once a month or so in order to collect your queries. Let me know if you’d be into that OR not below!
In closing, I want to alert you all to a really cool offering from one of my favourite herbalists and newsletter writers, Liz from Sister Spinster. She currently has a prerecorded class for sale that I did with her last year all about welcoming in autumn. I got so much out of it and think you might too! Here’s the link for Veil Opener: Autumnal Plant Magic.
And here we are, take some deep breaths, be gentle with yourself, and maybe go make yourself some burdock tea or a ginger shot (still my seasonal obsession fyi). May whatever you are harvesting be full of bounty. Be well friends!
‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿
thank you love this update and your time with ~the bears~